ures or mine???

I just found out that many things revolve around miscommunication. Everything that goes wrong is the result of miscommunication. Miscommunication happens when I think of something and you other people out there think of something else. One classic example i could think of is always the doubles tennis match. Playing at the spots carnival yesterday reminded me of the miscommunications i had with my doubles partners throughout my years of playing tennis.

One of those dumb miscommunication is when the ball comes in the middle of the court and I assume my partner would take it and vice versa. This ends up in a hilarious ending as none of us took the ball and we lost the point. Soon, we will be fighting and making excuses on why we didnt take the ball and our opponents will be laughting at us behind our backs, hoping we would repeat the same mistake. Next time, we must always remember to call whether I will take the ball or you will.

Anyways, I was lucky that that that miscommunication didnt happen yesterday during our matchs. I actually thought it would happen and ruin our game as ive never tried playing with him before. Surprisigly, we played a good game. So now I know that miscommunication can be avoided if we just communicate more and try to listen more attentively to what the other person is saying.

This picture shows two people miscommunicating and

trying to get the ball at the same time

Mom, Dad, are we looking at the same thing? =/

There was once a hilarious (I wonder if you find that funny? :/) incident happened on my way back from family dinner. My mom was driving, I was sitting beside her and dad sat behind me. While we were waiting for the traffic light, I took a glance on the shop lots on my left side. There was a banner advertised on furniture hang on the wall and it's written 'Home Design Sdn. Bhd.' From my perspective, I thought that the furniture shop could be somewhere nearby. Well, usually those furniture shops do this in front of their entrance.Yet, there wasn't any within my sight. Then I voiced out and asked my dad for curiosity. He said that was promoting purpose, and I was like 'duh? Shouldn't that's the intention of an advertisement?' He saw me kept quiet and puzzled, he continued 'It would only be there for few months.' So I assumed that is a billboard. But.... wait a minute... Billboard on the shop lots? But I chose to believe in my dad after few minutes.

The light finally turned green, and my mom said 'Shouldn't that be a curtain shop? Or else there would not be a curtain photo. It's a curtain designer firm. It's a 'home curtain designs' dear, that is why it calls 'Home Design' I stunned again. WHAT? Curtains? I turned my head and looked around. Oh well, it was true that there was a curtain shop. So it was proved that my mom received my message mistakenly and we weren't looking at the same thing. So I clarified my words. All of the sudden, my dad interfered our conversation 'Hey, hold on. I thought you were talking about the cartoon balloons?' I explained my sentence once again. We laughed and I wondered how could both of them received my message differently. They were both interpreted my message in different ways , therefore they looked at different things. How amazing, I thought this would not happen between us. Especially they are someone who know me so well. Even my parents? =/

Listening: An art or acquired skill?

I'm sure you all know the difference between hearing and listening, so I'll just skip to the listening part. Listening is when your paying attention and interpreting what your hearing. This naturally occurs when your listening to something that interests you. Sadly, this also means that you barely pick up and remember anything you heard that doesn't interest you.

This can be especially inconvenient in school, college or any situation that requires you to pay attention and learn something. In college, there are subjects that have to be taken by us not because we want to, but because we have to. This can make students feel resentful towards the subject and refuse to listen to anything taught in it. While students may not realize it, but sooner or later, they will have to start listening or they will fail that subject and will have to retake it.

This is where listening becomes an acquired skill. Students will have to find ways to make themselves pay attention and be interested in the subject. They could read the textbook more and realize that the subject is quite interesting or surf the internet for information about it and find interest in it. Thus, the students will slowly start getting used to paying attention and listen properly without concentrating so hard in every class.

In the end, listening can occur naturally if you genuinely enjoy the topic of discussion and the interest is there, but it can also be "turned on" on purpose (mostly during academic activities) and usually people who can do that for any subject, regardless of how interesting that subject is, excel pretty well academically.

Listening.

When someone is talking, have you guys out there ever wondered if you are listening to them or merely just hearing their voices??...well, we usually listen to conversations that we are only interested in. On the other hand, when a person we dislikes talks to us or an uninteresting topic comes up, we would just form a wall and block those voices out. We would pretend to listen and ocassionally nod to show that we are listening. A few "ohh" and "really???" can really show that you are listening....eventhough your not. We usually do that so we do not hurt a persons feelings as well as to "save face". How would you feel if someone was talking to you and he/she notices that you are not listening. The phrase "ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME??!!" can cause a few heads to turn.

Come to think of it, I actually notice many people doing this in college. I mean, when someone is talking to them and they are not interested in the topic, the would actually let the person continue his story eventhough they do not want to hear it. Some have the impatient and or bored look on their faces, looking for a way to escape from listening to the some old boring topic. Usually people do not notice this. So, try to take a while off your hectic lifestyles and open your eyes wide. If you open your eyes wide enough, you will see what i'm talking anout.

I think that there are many pseudo listeners in the world, yet alone my college. This type of people are so good at pretending to listen that they actually fooled others into thinking that they are listening when they are actually not. Well, do you want to catch some pseudo listeners?? Well, thats just easy. Come up with a really boring topic and go to a person and start talking about it. You must remember to check out for the clues. A pseudo listener will look like he/she is interested in your topic and they look very attentive. At the end of it, shoot them with a few questions about the topic. You would notice that that person would not be able to answer any of your questions or he/she will make lots of excuses.

A Good Listener

Listener, originated from the word 'listen'. Listen means to transform received message into meanings that we are able to understand. Listener is the person who is on going this process. I believe it is not easy to be a listener since it needs lots of efforts. In human communication, we learn how to listen more attentively and respond in an appropriate way. On the other hand, we usually say 'listener' as people who listen and understand the others' deep feelings and nags. People judge a good listener by how a person listen to others problem, analyze it and to solve the problem if possible. When some friends are in great depressed, we may want to be their temporary listener to let him/her pour out his/her unhappiness.

It is not easy to be a good listener. It is not some job that we can perform it naturally, it needs experiences and training. A listener should understand others point of view very well by empathizing. Most of us can only sympathize but barely empathize others situations and problems. We would not able to empathize unless we experienced the same thing or we put ourselves on their sides. Empathy makes communication better with friends who have problems. Listener is not only a person who hear what a person's speaking, but to listen and understand. Then we make an action based on what they know.

To 'Lah' or not to 'Lah'

Recently, my cousin, who was born and raised in London, returned to Malaysia after 14 years of absence (hes in his 30s). I have close to no memory of him and meeting him when he came back was like meeting him for the first time. Its a weird sense like deja vu, it feels a familiar but at the same time, it feels new.

My family took him out for dinner to commemorate his return to Malaysia and it was during this dinner that a very small event transpired and inspired this post. During our 'catching up' conversations with my cousin, I heard him clearly say the word 'lah' at the end of one of his sentences. This amused me as well as made me think alot about how deep a slang can rest in a person. My cousin had a fully developed British accent, grew up in London and he hasn't been back here for at least 14 or so years and yet, he still has a bit of the Malaysian slang.

Slangs play a very important part in human communication, it shows the true origins of a person who uses it. Another example is my best friend since kindergarten. Right before starting primary school, his family had to move to London because if his dad's job. He was in London for over 10 years and now he has moved back to Malaysia. When I caught uo with him, I realised that he already has a british accent but here and there, I still here 'lahs' and 'mahs'.

In the end, theres no escaping slang. Wherever a person may live, the slang that that person grew up with when young will be with that person till the day s/he is six feet under!