Win-lose situation happens while one party lose and another party win. This reminds me of those conversations I was having with my mom, hmm... or maybe my siblings. Since I'm the youngest. All I heard was rubbish and trash went into my ears. Sometimes I don't even have a chance to voice out. Everything they said must be true and the greatest, and they expect me to listen them fully and do what they said. These show they have power to control the younger ones. Therefore, I'm always the lose side because I always give in.
Lose-lose situation also often happens within my family. We used to have this family dinner every Sunday. And it's also because of this family event, we usually will come up with different ideas for our dinner. My brother likes Korean BBQ, my dad loves Chinese food, my sisters like Japanese food and others are fine with anything. Therefore, they tend to argue so much on the dinner. While any two parties or three parties fight against their 'great' ideas, my mom will suddenly stand out and suggest Western food. Where both parties give up their stand and all of us go for an alternative choice which is given by the 'authority'.
Compromise usually happens when we negotiate the prices while we are buying stuff. When both parties, the consumer and seller do not agree with the prices which is given by each of them, they may come up with a plan which satisfy partially for both parties. For example, the product's price is $40 which we may think it's way too expensive to buy, so we may probably suggest $20. Yet, this is when the argument begins when the seller does not satisfy with that price, which is too low. Therefore, they may come up with a suggestion, which benefits both of them but also lose at the same time. And this is when they are both agreed to decrease the price to $30.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Communicating without words.
I wanted to write a blog post bout camp...but i guess someone beat me to it....well my camp is different from his as i want to Gopeng but not Trolak. The leadership camp was reli a once in a lifetime opportunity for many of us. You guys may ask how can i relate this to human com. Come to think of it, there are many events that happen during the camp thet i can relate to human com. One of them is during a game where we had to find partners and then be alert during the game. Without expecting it, the instructor will ask us to change partners without really talking. It was hard for many as you can see many people running around like mad cows trying to find a partner. The person who cannot find a partner will have to be forfieted from the game and enjoy getting his or her face painted.
There were also a bunch of us who secretly planned our strategy so we do not fall victim to face painting. a bunch of us actually stood together and rotated among ourselves so we were never without a partner. Majority of us were from my human com class but I'm not going to mention any names. I have this feeling that maybe through human com., we understan how to use non-verbal communication to our advantage by using our eyes to communicate with our friends or just merely using our hands to point. All this paid off because none of us got our face painted in the end.
There were also a bunch of us who secretly planned our strategy so we do not fall victim to face painting. a bunch of us actually stood together and rotated among ourselves so we were never without a partner. Majority of us were from my human com class but I'm not going to mention any names. I have this feeling that maybe through human com., we understan how to use non-verbal communication to our advantage by using our eyes to communicate with our friends or just merely using our hands to point. All this paid off because none of us got our face painted in the end.
Words can be empowering
After what felt like a looooooooooong weekend, I came back from HELP's leadership camp in Trolak, Sungkai, Perak. As it was my first ever camping trip to anywhere, I felt mixed emotions about the trip. Obviously, I was excited to be able to go to a camp with all of my friends for 3 days, but I also felt a little worried at what we are the activities going to be like.
In the camp, we were split into 4 teams. My team named ourselves Team Alpha and, after some unexpected events, I was appointed as leader of the team. Seeing as this was a leadership camp, I took this as a test to see if I could be a good leader or not. Thus, in certain activities like the High rope and Low rope activities, I had a team member who was afraid of heights. So, that team member naturally had trouble even starting to do the High rope activity.
To help my team member, I gave words of enouragement like "You can do it" and "This is the time to get up there and get rid of that fear". After a few more of those, my team member finally got up the courage to do it. I, along with my other team members, cheered her on until she made it all the way through to the other side. In another instance, I was having particularly alot of trouble with one obstacle in the Low rope activity. On my second try, I would have fallen down and given up if not for the cheers and words of encouragement from my fellow teammates and advisors that emboldened my resolve to finish the course.
To summarise, words can not only convery messages and emotions, but can also reignite the fire in peoples hearts or steel the resolve of a person willing to give up. Using the right words at the right time can spur on a friend, family member or coworker to stand up and get through or finish what you started.
In the camp, we were split into 4 teams. My team named ourselves Team Alpha and, after some unexpected events, I was appointed as leader of the team. Seeing as this was a leadership camp, I took this as a test to see if I could be a good leader or not. Thus, in certain activities like the High rope and Low rope activities, I had a team member who was afraid of heights. So, that team member naturally had trouble even starting to do the High rope activity.
To help my team member, I gave words of enouragement like "You can do it" and "This is the time to get up there and get rid of that fear". After a few more of those, my team member finally got up the courage to do it. I, along with my other team members, cheered her on until she made it all the way through to the other side. In another instance, I was having particularly alot of trouble with one obstacle in the Low rope activity. On my second try, I would have fallen down and given up if not for the cheers and words of encouragement from my fellow teammates and advisors that emboldened my resolve to finish the course.
To summarise, words can not only convery messages and emotions, but can also reignite the fire in peoples hearts or steel the resolve of a person willing to give up. Using the right words at the right time can spur on a friend, family member or coworker to stand up and get through or finish what you started.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
How my parents communicate
Non verbal communication is in fact an important communication among most of the elderly. Especially couples who married for more than 30 years, they usually communicate without speaking in order to express themselves! You may often seen old couples having their morning tea at a coffee shop, but they usually read their newspaper and drink their own tea. They seldom speak while they're together. They can even detect each other's eye signals or body signals and react at the most suitable way. They are very distinct from young people like us. Young couples usually are more enthused and convey their messages through verbal communication. In fact, these old couples had gone through many things and they eventually had lack of topics to talk about.
This has actually happened in my home. Both of my parents were married for 35 years. They do speak to each other, but usually are related to politics news. Yet, simple things are often communicated non-verbally. For instance, my father often found some interesting articles on newspaper; he will place them on top of dry kitchen. And my mother eventually pick them up and read them! Another example, one fine day, my father found a clock had stopped moving and I assumed that he was lazy to change the batteries. So he put that clock on top of dry kitchen again, and expect my mom will see it. I was surprised to see that the clock was gone missing at the next day! I went to my parent's room and saw the clock was nicely placed on the TV cabinet; with new batteries in it =D P.S. All of us saw the clock, but none of us could think of changing the batteries. Wow! my parents can really click!
This has actually happened in my home. Both of my parents were married for 35 years. They do speak to each other, but usually are related to politics news. Yet, simple things are often communicated non-verbally. For instance, my father often found some interesting articles on newspaper; he will place them on top of dry kitchen. And my mother eventually pick them up and read them! Another example, one fine day, my father found a clock had stopped moving and I assumed that he was lazy to change the batteries. So he put that clock on top of dry kitchen again, and expect my mom will see it. I was surprised to see that the clock was gone missing at the next day! I went to my parent's room and saw the clock was nicely placed on the TV cabinet; with new batteries in it =D P.S. All of us saw the clock, but none of us could think of changing the batteries. Wow! my parents can really click!
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Foreign Accent Syndrome
You guys out there had heard about many different accents right???....but do you know that there is such a disease called a foreign accent syndrome???...I actually got a shock when I heard that there was such a disease. I was so interested in it that i decided to check it out a little more....Foreign accent syndrome is a rare medical condition involving speech production that usually occurs as a side effect of severe brain injury, such as a stroke or a head injury, though two cases have been reported of individuals as a development problem.
To the untrained ear, those with the syndrome sound as though they speak their native language with a foreign accent; for example, an American native speaker of English might sound as though they speak with a south-eastern British accent, or a native British speaker might speak with a New York American accent. However, researchers at Oxford University have found that certain, specific parts of the brain were injured in some foreign-accent syndrome cases, indicating that certain parts of the brain control various linguistic functions, and damage could result in altered pitch or mispronounced syllabus, causing the speech patterns to have a different sounding accent.
So, to you guys out there, have you notice that maybe one of your friends has this disease??...go check n see. If you are "lucky", maybe you will find one in your midst. To see about this syndrome, go check out this video in youtube. URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4Z_WV_NE8Q
I apologise for not being able to upload the video.
To the untrained ear, those with the syndrome sound as though they speak their native language with a foreign accent; for example, an American native speaker of English might sound as though they speak with a south-eastern British accent, or a native British speaker might speak with a New York American accent. However, researchers at Oxford University have found that certain, specific parts of the brain were injured in some foreign-accent syndrome cases, indicating that certain parts of the brain control various linguistic functions, and damage could result in altered pitch or mispronounced syllabus, causing the speech patterns to have a different sounding accent.
So, to you guys out there, have you notice that maybe one of your friends has this disease??...go check n see. If you are "lucky", maybe you will find one in your midst. To see about this syndrome, go check out this video in youtube. URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4Z_WV_NE8Q
I apologise for not being able to upload the video.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Eye contact
A direct gaze on a person may be creepy, and annoying sometimes. We are not 100% gaze on a person's eyes when we talked, literally 100% I would say. I believe we still need another few glance on the other side when we are recalling memories, we tend to look at the right hand side. Yet the frequency of staring a person while talking can tell us how much we are focusing on that conversation or the intention of listening to the conversation. A daily life experience that we would encounter. We would probably talk to some of our family members while they are watching TV. If they reply us by turning their heads towards us, it shows a higher intention of continuing the topics. Whereas, if they are still facing the TV yet answering us, it is more likely to make us keep repeating our sentence, as they focus more on the TV show; or even they would ignore us.
I also noticed that eyes can actually give instructions! For example, move our pupils to left direct a person to look at the left side or maybe we are pointing on someone or something on our left hand side. And vice versa. We will play this part when we are not allowed to talk especially during exam or class. Lecturers may communicate with us by using non verbal communication so we won't disturb others. An often part is when we are trying to point at someone secretly, eye contact would be perfect since it is not easy to detect by others.
I also noticed that eyes can actually give instructions! For example, move our pupils to left direct a person to look at the left side or maybe we are pointing on someone or something on our left hand side. And vice versa. We will play this part when we are not allowed to talk especially during exam or class. Lecturers may communicate with us by using non verbal communication so we won't disturb others. An often part is when we are trying to point at someone secretly, eye contact would be perfect since it is not easy to detect by others.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Communicating with different languages can lead to funny moments!
Foreigners who are on their first ever visit to Malaysia, can be very shocked when listening to what people say in the local coffee houses and restaurants in Malaysia. With all the different languages spoken in Malaysia, I can't tell you how many times I've had a good laugh watching how my foreign relatives have reacted to some of the words spoken in this country.
A good example is when my uncles from Australia was here to visit and we were in a local Chinese restaurant, my father, and almost every other customer, was calling the auntie who owns the establishment 'Aso!' which means 'auntie' in Cantonese. After my father had ordered the dishes, my uncle leaned slowly towards my father and asked "Why the hell do you keep calling that woman an 'asshole'?!". I overheard that and I laughed out loud along with my father and explained properly to him.
Another instance is with yet another foreign relative, from London, in yet another Chinese restaurant. After ordering chinese tea for the family, the waitress asked (in cantonese) "Oi Shuit moh?" (Do you want ice). Now, of course, my relative (who knows a bit of cantonese) quickly asked us after the waitress left "Did she ask if we want shit?!". The fact that he asked that with a complete british accent only made it funnier. In the very same dinner and my dad ordered 'Fu Kin chou' which is a type of noodle, and of course my relative, with his foreign ears, thought it sounded a lot like 'Fu**ing Chou'. XD
In the end, miscommunication and misconception goes hand in hand when it comes to communicating with people with different languages. Its notable that this happens so much that theres even a website dedicated to showing funny sounding foreign words and unintentionally funny mistranslated signs called www.engrish.com.
A good example is when my uncles from Australia was here to visit and we were in a local Chinese restaurant, my father, and almost every other customer, was calling the auntie who owns the establishment 'Aso!' which means 'auntie' in Cantonese. After my father had ordered the dishes, my uncle leaned slowly towards my father and asked "Why the hell do you keep calling that woman an 'asshole'?!". I overheard that and I laughed out loud along with my father and explained properly to him.
Another instance is with yet another foreign relative, from London, in yet another Chinese restaurant. After ordering chinese tea for the family, the waitress asked (in cantonese) "Oi Shuit moh?" (Do you want ice). Now, of course, my relative (who knows a bit of cantonese) quickly asked us after the waitress left "Did she ask if we want shit?!". The fact that he asked that with a complete british accent only made it funnier. In the very same dinner and my dad ordered 'Fu Kin chou' which is a type of noodle, and of course my relative, with his foreign ears, thought it sounded a lot like 'Fu**ing Chou'. XD
In the end, miscommunication and misconception goes hand in hand when it comes to communicating with people with different languages. Its notable that this happens so much that theres even a website dedicated to showing funny sounding foreign words and unintentionally funny mistranslated signs called www.engrish.com.
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