Self-confidence

Well, it's already week 11 for this semester! Sigh, it was fast, wasn't it? During these few weeks, we will see lots of students dressed in formal. Usually presentations for every subject will held on these days. And my mind always pop up with a question, why do people bother to dress up formally (I know we are obliged to do so)? My sisters and brother were puzzled when first to hear that we need to be dressed in formal for our presentations. Because they don't do so while they were like my age.

First of all, according to some lecturers, they claim that formal attires looked presentable. But how could you measure how presentable it is? Does formal attire gain more respects from our lecturers or other presenters? Hmm.. I can answer this. From my opinion, I think my answer is 'Yes'. Especially most of the subjects are changing the system of marking presentation. I remembered two semesters ago, my presentation was judged by a lecturer, only. Yet, as those seniors graduated one by one. Lecturers started to come out with this evil idea! Classmates are supposed to get involved in marking section. Not only the attire is important, but we must convince every 'judges' in our class. Because all the marks will be totaled up. Therefore, marks are even harder to gain. I'll say, attire will gain some marks besides our presenting skills.

Well, but this is not my main point. Girls tend to dress sharp and wear high heels to present ourselves. Not only we will then looked presentable but we are more confident in standing in front of crowds. Hence, handle the presentation perfectly. High heels do the trick. Maybe guys may not understand this feeling. I believe all the girls love these feelings. =D My conclusion is, dressing and appearance are very important. Appearance changes what you think about yourself because no one is more conscious of your appearance than anyone else. "When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people" said by an editor from the website, Pick the Brain. Log on to http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-ways-to-instantly-build-self-confidence/ for more information about building confidence. =D

Language: The Bane of International Harmony?

*Spoken in a deep V for Vendetta voice*
Why is it that there exists a myriad of languages to serve the purpose of communication when there is only one race of human beings? Why do we as human beings strive to complicate matters by having so many languages when one language alone is so complex and misunderstandable to even the most prominent of users of that language?

Why do we throw away the idea of international harmony that can brought upon us if only one language were understood and used by the entire populace of this blue planet for petty things like respect and honor for one's origins? Is not the safety of our people more important above all? The people who say they'd rather die than throw away the language of their ancestors for the language of a foreign country need to open their eyes to see the bigger, glorious picture that is this world, basking in the holy lights of harmony, brought upon us by the use of a single, simple and easily understandable language that every single infinitesimal human on this earth will know. If they do not, Vengeance will be inevitable.....Remember, remember, the 5th of November

*switches back to normal voice*
*cough cough* ahem, sorry, couldn't resist doing that after today. Anyway, what I'm getting at is simply speculating how the world would be if there existed one language that is understood by all. As of now, the only people who are able to talk to every person on this planet and negotiate and reason with them are people have a career in studying languages i.e linguists and interpreters. Peace talks between nations are only possible if both parties know each others languages (which most do not) or each of them hire an interpreter. What would happen if one or both interpreters aren't there? Nothing! Absolutely nothing will happen except for the two parties attempting to communicate and probably end up causing a misunderstanding and prolonging and intensifying the war between the countries they represent. I cannot even begin to imagine how a world with one language would work, but I can only hope that it is a much more peaceful world than the one we live in.

The Joy Luck Club

Have you guys ever heard of the Joy Luck Club??....well, you can say it was a really old movie as it was screened in1993. If you do not want to watch the movie, you can always get the book. It was written by Amy Tan and it is a very moving book which i would recommend to all the readers out there. It focuses on four Chinese American families who start a club known as "the Joy Luck Club," playing Mahjong while feasting on a variety of foods. They would then tell stories of their past and how they got away from the difficult situations in China. There are many conflicts between the mothers and their daughters as both the generations were brought up in very different cultures and background. The mothers were brought up in high context collectivist environment of China where as their daughters were brought up as individualists in the Western world. Many of the daughters could not communicate and they didnt want to try to communicate with their mothers who they think is old fashion and unknowledgable. The book is very touching and it really makes you think twice before you judge a person from the older generation.

Micheal Jackson: Spreading messages through song

Since someone else has already reviewed Ice Age 3 (of which I just watched yesterday), I'll talk more about the late and great Micheal Jackson. Despite the huge mess over whether MJ is a child molester or not (Of which I firmly believe he is NOT), MJ will, in the end, be remembered for all the amazing songs he has given us in the good old days.

Ever since he was 10, he sang songs in the Jackson Five like 'ABC', which was enough to get your feet dancing. If theres one good thing that language and communication has made possible, its song. Who knew that words said at different tones and to varying rhythms could be such a wonderful thing. And Micheal Jackson is pure proof of that.

Songs can be nice to listen and dance to, but sometimes, they can also convey deep and moving messages to listeners and can motivate people to go on. Songs that MJ sang like 'Heal the World' and 'Man in the Mirror' were about helping the poor and making a personal change to change the world respectively when you pay attention to the lyrics.

When listened to closely, almost all of Micheal Jackson's songs have a deep meaning and they all tell something about his personality and his life. Besides MJ's, many other songs by other artists convey alot of emotions and meanings. I guess this is why there are so many love songs, because songs are the best way to convey true emotions. Despite all of mankinds wrong doings, we can make some pretty wonderful stuff with just words and music.

R.I.P MIcheal Jackson, King of Pop

Indeed it has already been at least 2 weeks since the unfortunate and early demise of the legendary Micheal Jackson. Seeing his memorial a few days ago showed how much communication can truly affect people.

Even if it was mass media communication, when MJ's little girl grabbed the mic and said while sobbing and crying "I just want you to know, that my dad is the best dad I could ever have" was enough to move me to tears, and I'm sure it did the same to anyone else who watched that. The raw emotion shown in her statement conveyed exactly what she felt and also showed that she truly meant what she said.

Even before that, the speech by one of MJ's brother was heartfelt and I'm sure everybody who watched will agree with all that he said about Micheal. The entire memorial itself showed that songs, genuine words and participation can show the true feelings of people towards Micheal Jackson. Rest in Peace MJ, we'll miss you.

All we need is teamwork.

When i was at Sasa camp, we were all split into 2 different teams. We had to complete a series of tasks and one of them was to build a mud house. Ok, maybe i'm just exaggerating. Our goal was to complete 2 walls of the mud house. We started by mixing the water and the sand together, trying to achieve Mr G's "perfect chocolate cake" mixture. It took a lot of teamwork to mix everything together as it was a tough job to do. Eventhough we all didnt know each other well, everyone just put aside their differences and start working together to make the wall. The guys rolled the stack of straw to the house. Then every one worked hand in hand to bring the sand and water to the tub and started mixing. After the mixing was done, we were divided into a few groups to work on the different tasks which is covering the straw with mud, placeing the straws on the wires and smoothening out the wall. Everything was going so well until Kah Meng threw mud at my face. I threw back but it missed him and hit Mr G instead. Then the mud fight began. Everyone had a lot of fun but we forgot about the wall completely. Sadly, we didnt complete the walls and it was only halfway done. Come to think of it, if everyone didnt work together, nothing would be done at all.

Meeting new friends

I just came back from my Sasa Camp yesterday. I had loads of fun but it wasnt so fun before. On friday morning, we gathered in the main block at 7am in the morning. I started to panic as i didnt see a familiar face among the crowd of people. The majority of students from Sasa were from A-Levels, there was also a bunch of students from HICT, and there was me, the only person from HMC. Apparently all the Sasa HMC students could not come except for Kit Yang but she was no where to be seen. I gave a sigh of relive when i saw her. At least i know someone there.

We sat together on the bus and started to get to know everyone on the bus. Everyone was really friendly and i guess one just has to get the courage to say hi. We started making new friends with the students from A-levels and HICT during the activities. All in all, the camp has been a great experience for all of us and everyone went home with new friends.

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs

I felt glad yesterday wasn't another lonely friday. I watched Ice age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs at Pavilion. Teehee.. it's the coolest animation ever! I watched the 3D version, and I almost got blind. Even with the glasses on. Hmm.. no worries. I won't be the spoiler here, just in case someone is going to watch. And I noticed every movie has some theories that we can refer back to our textbook. Some similar communication skills that we learnt in lectures. In this film, Manny and Diego have the so-called 'man-talk' which Ellie doesn't seems to agree with that way. And the outcome was just like Ellie's expectation-Manny used the wrong type of communication skill when a friend needs a real concern. Another scene that I found it funny was the part where Manny and his friends stepped on a giant carnivorous flower while they thought it was a harmless plant. In this movie, it taught me there is a chance that the natural enemy or predator can be our best friends too. For instance, dinosaurs can be a friend of their prey. A shallow knowledge can lead to the worst case ever. This was shown where Manny thought he was the biggest mammal in the world. But this proved to be wrong until Manny meets the dinosaurs. There are a lot of lessons that we can learn from this film. It's worth to watch though.

Malaysian Culture Event on Wednesday!

As the title shows, my group-mates and I are organizing an event on promoting Malaysian Culture. P.S. I know it sounds boring, but please, it's a compulsory event that in fact contribute loads of marks in final result.. So.. please please... just spend a little time to come over our booth and take a look, at Lower Foyer. 12.30 to 2 this Wednesday(I guess everyone would be free at that time) Lecturers are welcome =D. I need your participation!!

Trust me, it's not going to be THAT boring. We spent almost thousand to organize this event (I'm gonna talk more about the progress of getting the dancers to HELP! *calming myself down*). Besides traditional dances - there about 6 dances =D cool huh? And we will set our booths for Malaysian Art at the same time- Malay, Indian and Chinese, of course. For Malay culture, we will have this 'Batik' colouring section, which you can colour your Batik with your own selection of colours- just pay RM3 =p (P.S.We are NOT making money, it's the cost) . For Indian culture, we will have this 'Henna' drawing. Patterns will be drawn on your palms or any part of your body (not somewhere else). And so on... loads and loads stuff to find out!

Oh yes, one more thing. Free Food is Available! Snacks and Kuih Muih.. YUMM! =))

And ONE last thing, FREE ENTRANCE! See you there!

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer.

All these things going on with the human comm project made me feel like writing about a movie that i watch many years ago. It was a really great but creepy show. It is called Perfume: The Story of a Murderer. I bought and watch the show when it first came out in 2006. I hope you find the synopsis of the movie interesting and try to get hold and watch the movie.

Perfume centers around the life of an unfortunate boy, Jean Baptiste, who was born in the slums of a Paris fish market. He is an odd child and grew up to be a social outcast. He is blessed with outstanding olfactory senses: from early childhood he displays an uncanny ability for discerning the individual smells of everything around him. The twists and turns of his early life are one continuous tragic story. His went on a quest is to learn the art of perfume making and he Jean Baptise desires to make the ultimate perfume. On his journey to create the ultimate perfume, he seeks alternative ingredients to his perfumes and, in doing so, leaves a grisly trail of dead bodies behind.

In the whole movie, Jean Baptiste spoke very little and he prefers to be alone. I fell that if he communicated more instead of being an outcast, he would not have became what he was in the movie. I also noticed that he has very awkward non verbal gestures. You should watch the movie so you will understand what i mean

All you have to do is start talking....

While doing the Introduction to Human Communication project, Jesslyn said something that made me think. She basically said that if it weren't for Human Comm and the way that a certain lecturer *cough* paired us up with random and unknown members on purpose, we would never have talked and got to know each other better and become friends (at least I think thats what we are :/ Right Jes? Wan Hoong?).

With so many people in this world, it can be daunting to get to know and befriend each and every one of them, but never think that you can't get along with them. All it takes is the initiative and the interest to really get to know a person even if he or she is unfriendly or grouchy. There have been many movies (espeacially Disney movies) about grouchy or unfriendly characters actually being very caring and great people once you get past the first impression and start getting to know them.

There are so many people in this world that could become my friend or your friend, you just need to talk to them. On friday, we got together to do the project and during that, we manage to talk quite a bit and finally get to learn more about one another and started working better as teammates. So if you see someone you wanna make friends with or looks like they need a friend, just start talking, you never know what to expect :)

50 First Dates

50 First Dates, which directed by Peter Segal was released in 2004. Starring Adam Sandler (My favourite guy =D) and Drew Barrymore (Such a sweet girl). A touching love story that most girls could cry for it. Henry Roth (Adam Sandler) is a wildlife veterinarian in Hawaii, who meets Lucy Whitmore (Drew Barrymore) a woman who has a short-term memory loss from a car accident a year earlier. Henry is a ladies man on the island who has been breaking the hearts of female tourists for years. Henry meets Lucy at a local cafe and takes her out on a date. Henry falls in love with Lucy, but there is one problem when she awakens in the morning, she can't remember him or anything that happened that day. Henry must devise a plan to meet Lucy everyday and try to get her to fall in love with him again and again. He had experienced rejection by Lucy at first, and caught her attention by injuring himself, he tells lies, all he does are trying to help her to recall their memories. But all these seem to fail and doctor announces that her condition may gone worse. Yet Henry never seems to give up, he films a video by recording the days and moment they went through together, and plays it every morning when Lucy wakes up. They gets married and had a daughter. But Lucy still lost her memory ever since she awakes on her bed. But I do believe they live happy ever after =D...

The friend 2

Talking about my friends again, i did some catching up with them when i went back to penang. They asked me what i was studying and i told them i was studying human communication. They looked at me with a confused look and asked me why i choose human com. They actually thought that I, from all the people in the world had trouble communicating with other people and needed to take a subject to teach me to talk. I told them more bout it and i told them about Mark Knapp's development model. All of them were actually interested in what i had to say about the model and started analyzing their relationships. One of my friend said "OMG, im only at the intensifying stage!! I'm so far from the top!!!!". I actually had to explain that she had to get married to reach the final stage. She just replied with a big smile and said, "I so got to do that. I wanna reach the top!! All of us there just stared at her and started laughing really hard. Her boyfriend laugh as well but i think he had other things racing through his mind.

The friend

I actually went back to penang last week on wed, straight after my exams to see a friend of mine who needs all the comforting she can get. She just broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years. She told me the story of how they broke up. Having to think, i actually put hum communication into the reasons why they broke up. Again, miscommunication is the main killer of this relationship. The guy, says he needed the space and said she had an attitude problem so he said he is going to give her a month to change. She, on the other hand actually screamed "GIVE ME ONE MONTH TO CHANGE???? IM NOT AN ASSIGNMENT OR SOMETHING WHICH HAS A DEADLINE!! iM A HUMAN!!" Without talking it out, she storms out and never gave him another chance to talk. The miscommunication here is that he listens to his friends that said he should break up with her because she had an attitude problem. Without actually talking it out with her, he concluded that his girlfriend had an attitude problem. His friends apparently only cling to their first impression of her. The fact was when they first met her, she was not feeling herself and had ignored them. I feel that that is just the problem with everyone. They should not just cling to first impression but then take the time to know a person before judging the person.

Advertisements and Communication

I'm sure you've seen and advertisement (unless of course you're blind........wait if you are, then you can't read this post either.....oh well) When you're surfing the net, you see annoying pop-up ads, when driving along the road, you see massive advertisements everywhere you look and even in magazines there are colorful, out of place ads that disrupt you from the actual content of the book.

Sometimes you see ads with alot of words on it, but it usually doesn't get you to buy it, but the more professional ones only have 3 or so words and it will usually compel you to buy that product. For example: Nike. They're ad just says "Just do it!". 3 words, 3 simple words and a picture of a Nike product is enough to make at least 100 people buy it.

And then on one of those billboard ads, there'll be a picture of a famous celebrity with a milk mustache and next to him/her/it there would be two simple words: "Got milk?". The fact that this ad style has been used for years is proof enough on how well it works.

Psychologically speaking, this method works because it imprints the image of the product in our heads, and the words will make us recognize it better. And so, when we see milk, or a Nike product, subconsciously we feel like buying it because of the advertisement. How much words and pictures can affect a human mind can be very frightening and useful at the same time, but that's the power of communication. So be it psychological or just very convincing, this one-way form of communication used by big buisnesses works and it works well.

Terminating

I don't understand why people choose to terminate their marriage when at the same time, their children had grown up. Recently I get to know my childhood best friend's parents are about to terminate their 30 years marriage. Both her parents are so close to my parents that they used to own a company back in 10 years time. I would say my parents were lucky enough to build their own business and went through successfully after that. Yet, this man ( my best friend's father aka my dad's best friend) started to develop his business by borrowing capital from many people, including my dad. He didn't seem to tell his wife either because she didn't know anything till the day he was totally broke. His business was failed of course, due to some reason that I think it wouldn't be appropriate to tell here. Her wife was told by one of his husband's business partner recently. She was shocked, for giving his husband 200 thousand to support his business. But still his husband did not let her know that his business had closed down. My friend told me her mother was suffer from depression, and she can feel the melancholy. They(my friend and her mother) decided to shift to her home town, tried to avoid her husband and as well as the so called 'loan shark'. I did not know till i read those form my friend's blog. I tried to call them, my mom too. But they seemed didn't want us to interrupt. So, are they going to terminate their marriage which last for more than 30 years? Wouldn't it be so saddening? =(((

The Secret

An interesting book- The Secret- that I bought last year from Kinokuniya. I believe most of you have heard of this book, or maybe you actually owned it. At that very moment, while I was flipping through this book. It did remind me of some psychology theories. It looked interesting to me and therefore now is on my bookshelf. After studying few chapters of Human Communication. A theory that rings the bell in my mind! If you had gone through the content of The Secret, you will know that all they said are mostly about the Universe. For those who don't read it, is in fact a book that teaches you (or reminds you) to achieve your goals by mutter to yourself so many times that you could imagine it really happens. What the author explained was, when you keep repeating the same wish in your mind, your mind will connect to the Universe and finally things will happen as what you wish. Sounds creepy huh? =/ black magic, that was my first impression, LOL. Self-fulfilling prophecy would be a better theory to explain it, I presumed. Let me recall the definition of self-fulfilling prophecy. It is a prediction or expectation of oneself that makes an outcome more likely to occur than would otherwise have been the case. I remember that's few pages in the book writting about a girl that was desperate to get a perfect husband. One of the authors of The Secret told her to do what he/she (couldn't remember) insist. Do you know what the author tell her what to do? Instead of mutter to herself billions of time that she would like to marry a nice man; she in fact live like she already had a husband! She bought a king-size bed and slept on a side and left another side empty (pretending the 'husband' was sleeping beside her), she cleaned up her cupboard so there will be some spaces (pretending the 'husband's clothes had actually occupied the spaces) and so on. And well, of course you know the final result. She married to a man who she always meet in her dream. There are many examples given in the book. Hmm.. can't really recall most part of them.

This book is in fact a nice book that you can try, I don't mind to lend you. Because that book costs RM80! Dare not to get another one. =/

Facial Expressions

OK, we've talked alot about non-verbal communication like body language, but one particular area of the body can tell you alot about what a person is feeling or thinking. A raised eyebrow can indicate interest or confusion, a smirk could indicate amusement or the person could be scheming something...

For example, today at college, a friend a pack of cards and we played a friendly game of Black Jack (I've always wondered, why BLACK Jack? Racial prejudice??). When my friend drew another card, his face distorted to a frown and squinted eyes. This obviously meant his cards were a bust. My other friend however, when he drew a card, didn't change his facial expression at all. After drawing my cards, we revealed our hands and, as it turned out, I was right about my friend busting but my poker faced friend had a 20 with three cards while I had 19 with the same number of cards.

My point is, just the face by itself can provide a myriad of information on the unspoken words of that person. There are also various games besides Black jack that rely on watching peoples facial expressions to win. Facial expressions can tell you if that person is lying or hiding something. So the next time you're with a friend or family member, try paying attention to their facial expression and try to decipher what they may be thinking.

Conflict Resolution

Win-lose situation happens while one party lose and another party win. This reminds me of those conversations I was having with my mom, hmm... or maybe my siblings. Since I'm the youngest. All I heard was rubbish and trash went into my ears. Sometimes I don't even have a chance to voice out. Everything they said must be true and the greatest, and they expect me to listen them fully and do what they said. These show they have power to control the younger ones. Therefore, I'm always the lose side because I always give in.

Lose-lose situation also often happens within my family. We used to have this family dinner every Sunday. And it's also because of this family event, we usually will come up with different ideas for our dinner. My brother likes Korean BBQ, my dad loves Chinese food, my sisters like Japanese food and others are fine with anything. Therefore, they tend to argue so much on the dinner. While any two parties or three parties fight against their 'great' ideas, my mom will suddenly stand out and suggest Western food. Where both parties give up their stand and all of us go for an alternative choice which is given by the 'authority'.

Compromise usually happens when we negotiate the prices while we are buying stuff. When both parties, the consumer and seller do not agree with the prices which is given by each of them, they may come up with a plan which satisfy partially for both parties. For example, the product's price is $40 which we may think it's way too expensive to buy, so we may probably suggest $20. Yet, this is when the argument begins when the seller does not satisfy with that price, which is too low. Therefore, they may come up with a suggestion, which benefits both of them but also lose at the same time. And this is when they are both agreed to decrease the price to $30.

Communicating without words.

I wanted to write a blog post bout camp...but i guess someone beat me to it....well my camp is different from his as i want to Gopeng but not Trolak. The leadership camp was reli a once in a lifetime opportunity for many of us. You guys may ask how can i relate this to human com. Come to think of it, there are many events that happen during the camp thet i can relate to human com. One of them is during a game where we had to find partners and then be alert during the game. Without expecting it, the instructor will ask us to change partners without really talking. It was hard for many as you can see many people running around like mad cows trying to find a partner. The person who cannot find a partner will have to be forfieted from the game and enjoy getting his or her face painted.

There were also a bunch of us who secretly planned our strategy so we do not fall victim to face painting. a bunch of us actually stood together and rotated among ourselves so we were never without a partner. Majority of us were from my human com class but I'm not going to mention any names. I have this feeling that maybe through human com., we understan how to use non-verbal communication to our advantage by using our eyes to communicate with our friends or just merely using our hands to point. All this paid off because none of us got our face painted in the end.